Note: A few months ago, the local newspaper in the town where I work ran an article about a group of atheists who were encouraging college students to consider becoming fellow atheists. One photograph showed a young man handing out a flyer to a young person in an apparent attempt to convert the individual to atheism. What a fascinating idea! "Hi, how are you?" the young atheist asked. "Can I have a minute of your time?" "Uh, will this take long? I have to get to Spanish lab." "No problem," the atheist replied, "I only have one question." "Well, sure then," the student said, "Ask, but make it quick!" "My question is this: Do you believe (in spite of the fact there is no empirical proof to support such a ridiculous notion) that (even though great writers like Carl Sagan and Steven Hawkings refute any possibility) there could be (regardless of how many simple shepherds and ignorant monotheistic morons claimed otherwise) a higher intelligence (which if so, does not appear to be very intelligent seeing how such a supposed intelligent being never says doo-doo to me) called God?" "What?" "Do you consider yourself to be a highly intelligent person, or do you believe in God?" the atheist blurted. "I ... I don't know." "My point exactly." "What is....?" the student scratched his head. "You don't KNOW if God exists. No one can know!!!" the atheist exclaimed. "Here. Take this flyer which explains why you should NOT believe in God." "Well... okay.... thanks I guess. I have to get to my lab. Bye." Another successful conversion to atheism! Let's take a look into the future: Within the next several years, Campaign Revealing Atheism's Promise, became a regular fixture on major university campuses across the U.S. Discouraged by the heavy endorsements received by the faculty, most Christian groups withered or went underground. The popularity of C.R.A.P. spread to the private and public sector in rapid succession. Bible burnings became a popular pasttime. Organizations once known for their Christian roots were quickly converted to atheism: The Red Cross changed its name to The Bloody Bandage; World Vision became Weakest Link; Congress finally took down all references to God in the public square; "In God We Trust" on all U.S. currency was changed to "Trust No One." Evolutionary Theory finally won out over Creationism by default, for no one dared speak aloud about God in public for fear of being shunned. Disaster relief organizations folded up shop for lack of volunteers. After all, if someone was stupid enough to build a house in a flood plain, he deserved what he got during the rainy season! A phenomenon called Atheist Home Fellowship cropped up all over the country in the vacuum left by empty churches. Let's eavesdrop on one of their meetings in the home of the Tick family, who are hosting tonight's fellowship: Harry Tick: I haven't got all night people. Can we get started? Agnes, dear, will you lead us in an opening thought? Agnes Tick: Yes, Harry. Attention everyone! Please stand as we recite this week's "Words to live by." Repeat after me: This is all there is. Please be seated. Aaron Gant: Harry, I have a question about last week's meeting. Harry Tick: Yes, Aaron? Aaron Gant: When you said that when we die, the heart stops first and then the brain function ceases, did you mean to imply the brain might continue on for a few more seconds? Harry Tick: That is a possibility in some cases, yes. Aaron Gant: Then, technically, for a few nano-seconds, assuming one was conscious, a person could temporarily experience life after death. Right? Agnes Tick: Aaron, what is your point? You're still dead! Harry Tick: Yes, Aaron. I agree with Agnes, the direction of your question comes dangerously close to suggesting something beyond the scope of all science and intelligent debate. So don't go there, okay? Aaron Gant: You suck as a leader of this group, Harry! I hope you die soon. Agnes Tick: We all die, Aaron. That's the point! Aaron Gant: What is? Harry Tick: Exactly. Remember our motto, Aaron: Nothing more, nothing less for we believe in nothingness! Meeting adjourned. *********************************** The Gadfly |
Originally Posted On Site: 2008-06-06 04:17:56
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