Today
Today
I missed you
but a while-
your laughter, your cry
the dimpled smile.
Today
I allowed
myself the tears
for the pain I've hidden
these past six years.
Today
I read the letters
that gave you to another.
Today
I feel the anguish
of not being your mother.
Today
I allow
myself to feel sorrow
for what I have given
in all my tomorrow's.
The bond with siblings
you will rarely see
the future I long for
that will never be.
Today
I remember
the time of your birth
and ponder to myself
what price my pain's worth.
Today
I can touch you
I feel you neath' my heart.
Today
my soul
is shredding apart.
Today
I wonder if Ryan,
will forgive me as a man
and realize how I have loved him
could he ever understand?
Today
I must sit.
Today
I must grieve,
for each moment I won't share
and each memory I'll never see.
I love you Ryan, my son, today and always..
I wrote this on Ryan's 6th birthday, he is 9 now. My sister had ovarian cancer and I was a traditional surrogate for her. Ryan is healthy and happy and my sister is a wonderful Mother.
Originally Posted On Site: 2008-02-03 06:13:06
Last Login: 08.20.08
Visits as of 12-12-07: 104
