When she came to the park she started to walk toward the lake. She could glimpse it in between the trees as she glanced down the sloping lawn. - What a beautiful place, she thought to herself. And all those birds ... She looked up into the sky and saw them, her wonderful, small darlings, seemingly heading for the lake, just as she was. The sight made her smile to herself and without thinking about it she fingered the big bag with bread that she was clutching.
She loved to see the birds, but she also enjoyed watching all the beautiful flowers. - A very good gardener here, she thought to herself and nodded at the thought, wonder who he is. Some beds of tulips in all colours stood out against the green of the grass and the trees. This sight made her stop some minutes, breathing in all this beauty and she felt how it filled her and made her a part of it. No limits, no borders, all of it was beauty.
At the exact same moment the thought of being part of this beautiful world filled her and she felt so elevated by it some young people passed by on the pathway. She didn't turn to look at them, but caught their laughter and some words out of context. All of it, both the laughter, the words and the fast movements collided with her own feelings. The words "Strange ...", "ridiculous...", "look, what is THAT? ..." came right at her and then there was another bout of laughter ...
- Oh no, she thought, starting her usual appeal to God. However, then she realised that they had gone and at once she hurried toward the lake.
- What a lot of darlings today, she thought to herself when she saw them, both on the shore and in the water. Perhaps they knew I was coming. The idea was pleasing to her, she loved to think that these pretty creatures knew her and needed her, yes, that she meant something to them.
At the lake she started to feed them bread from her bag. Bread, cut into small cubicles, bird's seed and some cookies she had left for them, everything was for her darlings.
After having fed them for a while she sat down at the bench by the lake that she called "her place". Nobody came there, but she found it perfect, no prying eyes and also tactical for bird feeding. When she had fed them the bulk of her bag, but somehow not the cookies, she sat back and right away her hand found the cookies and brought them to her mouth. She was a bit ashamed of eating what she had brought the birds, but on the other hand, wasn't she tired after the walk in the park? Wasn't hunger a normal reaction? Yes to both, it was all very normal, she thought.
Sitting there on the sunlit bench, cookies in her hand and in her mouth, birds chirping and everything being so pretty, she let herself sink into the light and the beauty of it all. She felt how the scenery filled her and made her happy to be part of it, but also she felt drowsy. That is, suddenly she realized that what she felt was her own suddenly so small and insignificant frame blending in with all this beauty and peace. The thought lifted her very soul and there was happiness in every atom of her being, however, almost at that same moment she heard the noisy young people once again. The laughter rippled through the stillness and before long there they were, a few metres from her.
She heard them talk to themselves, then a shrill boy's voice rang out: "How disgusting! A circus tent all by itself ... or is it an elephant?"
"No, Duckie, it's a hippo ... the disgusting fatso ..."
She knew they were talking about her, that they wanted to make her angry, but somehow she didn't understand what they said. "Circus tent?" "Hippo?"
"How ugly it is, that creature of the lake," the pretty, young girl said, "shouldn't be let out of its cage." Then they laughed and moved on, past her as she was sitting there in the blessed sunlight, suddenly blotting it out as they passed her. The shadow that came from their perfect, young bodies encompassed her for a short moment, then they were gone, still laughing ...
She sat dumbfounded, both sad and in shock, but first and foremost surprised. - What have I done to them? Why do they harrass me? she thought. The shadow was gone when they left, but somehow it was as if it was still lingering and it made her shudder, suddenly freezing sitting there, alone in the sunlight, ...
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Originally Posted On Site: 2010-04-11 01:04:09
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