They went into the wood, hand in hand they walked along the pathway. "This is when the ogre comes," he said with a grin. She just heaved an exasperated sigh and he went on: "You know, in fairy tales, there is a moment which opens up to the coming of the main character: The Ogre who wants to eat, devour, crunch the innocent humans who ventured into his realm. For some unknown reason the ogre is always a male ...."
"What?!!" a loud voice resounded from nowhere. "AM I A MAN???" And then the lines of the trees moved. They wavered, they merged, they melted together into what was a very tall and gangling female figure with piercing eyes and wild, matted locks blowing in the wind. Her bosom was more than ample as was most of her features except for her small, pointed nose. "Yes, you stare ..." she said to the young girl ...
"It's only that you ..." she answered, at the same time touching her own minute nose involuntarily.
"Oh," the woman said, "you are perceptive. Yes, I admit it, I did have it done - and so did you, Miss Nosey-One."
"My name is Cindy," the young girl said and the stranger nodded: "Yes, it sure is, and your brother is Steven."
"How did you know?!" exclaimed Cindy, very surprised.
"Tis my job to know."
"What do you mean, and who are you anyway," asked Steven, now rather annoyed.
"You know me," she said, "Both of you have known me ever since you were children and we have often conversed."
They looked at each other and then shrugged. This was too strange to think about, but the stranger went on: "You used to call me "The Hag-in-the-Sack", but that name doesn't fit anymore after I had my make-over. Or what do you think?" She turned around for their inspection and Steven mumbled something uncommittal like e.g. "very nice".
"The Hag-in-the-Sack doesn't have three chins, a long nose and all sorts of warts anymore. Also she doesn't have the hunched back that made you laugh at her. She poked a long, crooked finger at Steven, stabbing it right into his face so that he flinched.
"Look here, Mam, it's nice meeting you. We don't know how you came to know about our childhood games, but now we have to hurry. We came to find mushrooms for dinner ...."
"He-he-he," she said shaking with merriment, "funny that you should mention "dinner" ..."
"What do you mean?" asked Cindy, suddenly a little alarmed at the look in the strange woman's face. Especially the glint in her eyes made her worry ...
"Yes," said Steven, "What do you mean, who are you and what are you doing here?"
"Me? I'm cooking dinner, or I'm trying to, only I miss one of the ingredients ..."
"Sorry to hear that as this is so far from the shops."
"The shops don't have it anyway ..." she said, her head tilted, her mouth curled in a sweet-sweet, even sugary smile. "Would you care to have a bit of food at my house?"
They realized that they couldn't escape her presence and Steven nodded and Cindy smiled at her. After having walked a few metres they suddenly saw a small, cosy cottage which they for some reason hadn't noticed before. Smoke was coming out of its chimney and there was an air of "food", every kind of "food" in this telltale smoke. As they stepped into the house they were met by the smell of bakery and a dish stewing on the large stowe in an uncommonly large casserole. Also they were met by something else: Two large, female hands from behind and in a whiff they were lifted up into the air and slammed down into the casserole on the stowe.
They screamed, they hollered, they begged, but to no avail then Cindy suddenly said: "Oh, your poor nose, it's melting being so close to the stowe."
"What?!!!" the woman said, but Cindy went on, "Yes, isn't it too bad when they use wax for these operations. Should be forbidden."
The hag skipped backwards, away from the stowe, but then she found that she couldn't tend to the casserole so she reached down and got hold of Cindy to pull her up, drenched and smelly from many dishes in the past. "OK, you tend to it ..." she said, giving her a shake. Cindy and Steven took one long look at each other then she said: "OK, I shall see to it."
"Why did you call me the Hag-in-the-Sack, I'm a fullblooded woman, a kind-hearted soul and shouldn't be treated like that ....."
"We only did it because when we got you - and that was before you had grown this big - "
"Big indeed," the Hag exclaimed, whom do you call big, you HUMAN?"
Cindy went on without answering her: "Well, there was a recipe - eh, a formula - when we got you for Christmas -"
""Got me?!" Hm! And what was that recipe?"
"We never used it, and I can't really remember it, but it was something like this: "Trickle, trickle, you old hag -"
"I've never heard anything that silly, I'm not a hag, I'm a woman -"
"Met some nice trolls lately?" Cindy asked.
A beautiful smile almost split the face of the Hag and all of a sudden she looked what she wasn't: A woman, ready to love, ready to give tenderness. Cindy was shocked at this sight and felt remorse at what she was trying to do, but one glance at Steven, simmering in the casserolle, made her cruel and she went on: "... go to rest in the nest of the best in the West ..." The hag looked at her as if she didn't believe her own ears, then she slowly shrunk into the size of a large doll. Her eyes became senseless doll's eyes and all signs of life evaporated. Cindy hurried to help her half-cooked brother out of the casserole. He was shocked and not even grateful. "What took you so long?" he yelled.
"I couldn't remember the formula," but then, all of a sudden, there it was.
"Damn hag!" he yelled and kicked the doll. It turned over and Cindy saw its doll's face. Everything was as before, except the tiny nose. There it was, as cute as her own instead of the hag's nose she herself had been born with.
Originally Posted On Site: 2009-04-28 07:24:25
Last Login: 05.24.12
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