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Crazy Cowgirls Night Before Christmas : Funny Poetry

written by Poet : Vickie Peacock


Twas the night before Christmas when we heard a loud crash
My Catfish jumped out of bed grabbed his gun and was off in a dash
 
He flung open the door as he looked back at me
Said I looked mighty cute in my hat and Mrs Claus nighty
 
He put on his hat and rushed out the door
I hollered hurry back I'll be waiting for more
 
My Catfish cussed at the site scattered on his lawn
He saw presents  reindeer a sleigh and Santa in the middle of a yawn
 
Santa spoke up and said I'm sorry I fell asleep in the sleigh
Mrs Claus has been horny I haven't slept for days
 
They surveyed the damage and Santa said with a frown
My sleigh's stuck in a tree my reindeer knocked out and Rudolf's nose has turned brown
 
My Catfish thought for a moment or two
Then he said Santa I know just what to do
 
They went around back and into the basement
My Catfish knew how to fix Santa's predicament
 
My Catfish rummaged through all sorts of stuff
Then he smiled at Santa and said yep I've got enough
 
They were soon outside with arms piled full
My Catfish said now Santa don't give me no bull
 
My Catfish hollered hey doll would ya like to help
As I walked outside I heard Santa whisper wanna be my elf
 
Next thing I know we had runners on his truck
So slick and smooth ain't no way we'd get stuck
 
We gathered reindeer and presents each and every one
Piled them on the flatbed boy this was gettin fun
 
Then from leather straps a harness was made
It was red and black with a touch of jade
 
We added some bells and made it complete
No other sleigh could even compete
 
My Catfish and I went and got our horses
Hitched them up oh my what a site of course
 
Well dear ole Santa couldn't believe his eyes
He said how in the hell ya gonna make em fly
 
My Catfish from his pocket pulled a small tiny sack
Magical dust he then sprinkled upon their backs
 
My Catfish opened the door as he said hop on in dear
He had a big ole grin from ear to ear
 
He picked Santa up and tossed him in the bed
Ole Santa's face looked pretty dang red
 
My Catfish jumped in an tied the reins to the steering wheel
He even had a picnic basket with a mouth watering meal
 
We laughed and shouted on Gypsy on Jada on Ginger and Doc
My Catfish hollered ya'll watch out for that rock
 
Ole Santa passed out as up in the sky we went
I yelled Yeeee Haaaw it's the best Christmas Eve yet
 
Flyin through the sky what a sight we were
Jingling bells and whinnies could always be heard
 
Presents delivered we took Santa home
It was freezin cold at the North Pole
 
Mrs Claus come out and smiled at us
Then at ole Santa Claus she started to cuss
 
On our way home flying up so high
We hollered Merry Christmas Ya'll An Have A Good Night
 
My Catfish and I made it home safe and sound
The horses glad to have their feet on the ground
 
We were greeted by meows and tail waggin dogs
Kicked our boots off and in the fireplace threw some logs
 
My Catfish smiled as he walked up to me
He had two mugs filled with hot chocolate and coffee
 
I said Merry Christmas Hun I sure love you
He whispered Merry Christmas Doll I love you too
 
12-07-2006 By Vickie Hockey

Originally Posted On Site: 2007-02-24 15:32:55
Last Login: 11.01.11


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