Daddy's Shirt : Family Poetry

------so
i'm 22 years old, right....and i still can't seem to have a good night....
ya know, i've tried running away, and drugs of some sorts, but nothing can keep my demons at bay...i'm standing in front of the mirror, naked...and looking at my body...there's a scar on my belly....
it brings me back to a time, once upon a time, a loooonnngggg time ago, in a faaarr away place, or maybe just in my house when.... i was standing in my bedroom, daddy was at work, and mommy was lying on the floor- after flying through the air all night, i could see why she and gravity never got along....because now, she's all tired and limp....
-------------SLAM!!!-------------- daddy's home, i run into a corner...i listen for the locks to click, and the chains to latch...i hear his footsteps...and watch my doorknob turn...slllooowwllly- he's holding his shirt in his fist...i was only trying to help, and a tear falls from my eye...i've failed him again...he glides toward me, almost like a tangible apparition...his shadow casting shadows...i lower my eyes- -----falls into concentration, using only absence as my sedation, so i won't feel this penetration...and i can almost leave this situation------- i can faintly hear how guys at the office snickered at his shirt, how wrinkled and old and worn it had looked, how they laughed and he was the butt of their jokes....i remember something about an iron....i can almost smell something....really hot....and from my non-conscious state of nowhere.... he dragged me me by my hair back into my reality...and maybe the guys would call him a fag if they could see how he tossed and flung his Raggedy Ann doll up and over, and down and around....al....day....long. or perhaps they might see him as professional wrestler the way he broke my bones, and cleched his teeth.... much later...i awoke in a bed that wasn't mine...there were lights and wires and lots of beeping sounds...
blood still danced in my mouth...my private parts were on fire...my body was numb... was i finally dying...at the age of 11...was God tired of hearing me scream? had he finally come to get me? one of my eyes are swollen...i try to sit up...to see where i was....never noticing my heavily bandaged abdomen....
i summoned Death himself with my scream.... what had happened to me.... and then it all came back to me.... daddy's iron had left footprints on my belly,
reminding me of how well i hadn't ironed daddy's shirt
because mommy was all bleeding and corpse-like, and hugging the floor
and all of the guys laughed at him... but daddy sat beside me...and he muffled my shrieks....i looked into his eyes with one of mine...

and he said, 'this is how much daddy loves you'.  

Originally Posted On Site: 2009-06-15 02:59:18
Last Login: 08.27.09

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